When Acceptance Becomes the Doorway to Freedom
It’s funny how often we think acceptance means giving up.
That if we accept something hard, like the fact that we can’t drink the way others seem to, we’re somehow admitting defeat.
But the truth?
Acceptance isn’t the end. It’s actually the beginning.
It’s the doorway to peace.
And that’s exactly what I want to talk about today.
But first: A Few “Quit-Lit” Favorites
Before we dive deeper, a quick side note for my book-lovers. I was recently asked for recommendations, and these are three that shaped my journey:
This Naked Mind by Annie Grace: the book that cracked everything open for me.
Alcohol Explained by William Porter: straightforward, science-based, and impossible to unread.
Alcohol Lied to Me by Craig Beck: simple truths that strip alcohol of its fake glamour. He even calls alcohol “attractively packaged poison” - a phrase I repeated every time I looked at a bottle in early sobriety until my brain started to see it differently.
Now let’s get back to how surrender and acceptance showcase your strength, not your weakness.
The Illusion of “Normal Drinkers”
One of the hardest parts of this journey is making peace with the fact that you can’t moderate.
You see people around you - your friends, your partner, your coworkers - having a drink or two, laughing, moving on with their lives. And it’s easy to tell yourself you’re the only one struggling.
You’re not.
Some people really can take it or leave it. My husband is one of them. He can sip a drink, stop halfway, and go weeks without another thought about it. I used to think that meant something was broken in me. Now I understand; it’s just that our brains respond differently to alcohol. What works for him will never work for me.
That truth was painful at first. But accepting it is what set me free.
Redefining Acceptance
Acceptance isn’t admitting defeat.
It’s choosing peace over the endless fight.
It’s standing in truth without judgment.
It’s saying, “This is my reality. And I’m done wasting energy resisting it.”
Acceptance is the doorway to freedom. It’s not about closing yourself off. It’s about stepping into a new, lighter chapter of your life.
Grieving What You Thought Drinking Would Be
If you feel sadness or anger about not being able to moderate, that’s normal. And I promise you’re not alone (this is so common that I have an entire lesson centered around it inside The Blueprint).
→ Grief is part of this process.
You might grieve the fantasy that you’d be the kind of woman who could have “just one glass.” You might grieve the version of life you pictured where alcohol was still allowed to play a role.
Let yourself feel it.
You’re not failing. You’re just human.
And the irony? The desire to “moderate” is often proof of how much power alcohol once had over us. Those who truly can take it or leave it don’t even think about moderation. They don’t need to. That right there is another truth that felt like a gut punch but ultimately helped me see that letting go of alcohol was the best way forward.
The Power of Letting Go
To put acceptance into perspective, think of another time in your life when you had no choice but to accept something hard.
Maybe it was a breakup you didn’t want, a health diagnosis, infertility, or a dream that didn’t unfold the way you hoped. I’ve seen friends walk those roads. They didn’t love it, but they grew through it.
Acceptance became the bridge to something beautiful on the other side.
When I look back, I can see this truth in my own story too. For years, I resisted fully accepting that being a special-needs mom would mean things about my life were always going to be different. That resistance fueled my drinking. But when I finally faced it, and faced it sober, life started to feel better than I ever thought it could.
What Happens When You Accept
When we stop fighting reality, we unlock space for new emotions:
Pride. Confidence. Freedom. Gratitude.
You can feel sad about not being able to moderate and grateful for the peace that comes with not trying anymore.
Those things can coexist.
You’re not here because you “can’t drink.”
You’re here because you’re choosing better. Because you’re done with “good enough.”
Reflection for the Week
Take some quiet time this week to sit with these questions:
When have you had to accept something hard in the past?
How did it make you stronger or open a new door in your life?If you fully accepted that alcohol can’t play a positive role for you, what would change?
What would become possible if you stopped trying to moderate and started building something beautiful without it?
Acceptance is where the peace begins.
It’s not giving up. It’s growing up.
It’s stepping into the version of yourself that’s finally free🖤
xx -
Shannon