Real Talk: How to Respond When People Ask, “Why Aren’t You Drinking?”
There’s a moment almost every woman encounters on the alcohol-free path:
You’re at a party, a dinner, a celebration… and someone notices your empty glass.
“Wait - you’re not drinking?”
“Not even one?”
“Come on, it’s a special occasion!”
It doesn’t matter how confident or grounded you feel, this question can still catch you off guard.
Not because you owe anyone an explanation, but because alcohol is so normalized in our culture that sober people are often treated like the unusual ones.
So today’s real talk is simple:
Let’s talk about how to handle these moments with confidence, clarity, and zero apologizing.
Because your sobriety isn’t fragile.
And you don’t have to shrink or over-explain to make anyone else comfortable.
Why People Ask in the First Place (It’s Not What You Think)
Most of the time, their question has nothing to do with you.
It’s about:
Their assumptions about who you’ve always been
Their relationship with alcohol
Their discomfort with the idea that someone might not need to drink
Your answer sets the tone.
If you act like it’s normal, they will see it as normal. If you hesitate, apologize, or make it sound like deprivation… they follow your lead.
That’s why having a simple, confident script ready can shift everything.
Five Sober Scripts That Shut Down Pressure Instantly
Use whichever one feels most like you.
1. The Confident Script
“I don’t drink anymore, and I feel amazing.”
Firm, simple, grounded. This answer closes the loop before anyone has a chance to question it.
2. The Short + Clear Script
“I’m good; I’m not drinking tonight.”
No backstory.
No justification.
Just… no. Because ‘no’ is a complete sentence.
This script works beautifully because people mirror your energy.
If it’s not a big deal to you, it won’t be to them.
3. The Identity Script
“I’m alcohol-free now. It’s just who I am.”
This one reinforces your new normal.
It tells your brain - and the world - exactly who you’ve become.
4. The Playful Script
“Trust me… I’m way more fun sober!”
Light, confident, and humorous.
Great for diffusing persistent questioners or people who expect “the old you.”
5. The Boundary Script
“I don’t drink anymore, but thank you! Let’s talk about something else.”
No edge, no apology.
Just a gentle shift out of the conversation.
Useful for the one person who simply won’t let it go.
Why These Scripts Work
Because they:
Reinforce your identity
Reduce social awkwardness
Prevent endless questions
Give people nowhere to push
Make sobriety sound strong, not sad
Most importantly, they tell your own brain the truth:
Drinking isn’t an option.
And you don’t have to defend that.
A Final Reminder
People’s reactions to your decision to not drink are almost always more about them than you. Their expectations, their fears, their habits.
You get to walk into any room - any event, any dinner, any celebration - feeling anchored in who you are becoming.
And when someone asks, “Why aren’t you drinking?”
you can answer with confidence, clarity, and peace.
You are not missing out.
You’re choosing better.
xx -
Shannon