What I Wish I Knew When I Quit Drinking at 44

When I quit drinking at 44, I didn’t have all the answers. I just knew that alcohol was taking more than it was giving - my peace, my energy, my confidence, my sense of control.

What I didn’t realize at the time is that healing from alcohol isn’t just about putting down the drink. It’s about rebuilding every part of yourself - your habits, your identity, your confidence, and your joy.

If you’re somewhere in that process - curious, struggling, or newly alcohol-free - here’s what I wish someone had told me when I started 👇🏻

1. Most people won’t care that you’re not drinking anymore.

The truth? The world revolves a lot less around your glass than you think it does. Most people are too focused on themselves to notice what’s in your cup. And if someone does make a big deal out of it, it’s usually because your choice is bumping up against their own discomfort - not because you’re doing anything wrong.

Your decision to stop drinking is about you, not them.

2. You won’t always want to avoid social gatherings.

In the beginning, protecting your sobriety is everything - and sometimes that means staying home. It’s okay to skip the parties, to turn down the invites, to choose peace over pressure.

But that season doesn’t last forever. One day, you’ll walk into a room, hold your sparkling water, and feel fully at ease. You’ll laugh, connect, and dance - not because you’re drinking, but because you’re finally present.

3. You’re going to be tired. A lot.

Your body is healing. Your brain is recalibrating. You’re learning to cope and unwind in entirely new ways. Of course you’re tired - you’re doing deep, invisible work.

If you’re in that season, I recorded a podcast episode that dives deeper into why fatigue hits so hard after quitting and what helps — you can listen to it here.

Be patient. Rest when you need to. And remember: drinking again won’t help you “get back to normal.” It will only delay your healing.

4. Quitting drinking involves grief.

No one talks about it enough - but giving up alcohol can feel like losing a part of yourself. There’s anger, sadness, resentment, even confusion.

But here’s the truth: grieving something doesn’t mean you made the wrong choice. You’re not just letting go of a drink - you’re letting go of a version of yourself that used alcohol to cope, to connect, to get through. You’re making space for the woman you’re becoming. Allow yourself to work through this grief but don’t make the mistake of thinking of confusing grief with regret. You’ve made the right decision - it just takes time to settle in.

5. You can be sad about quitting and still know it’s right.

Just like a toxic ex, there might be fond memories mixed in with the chaos. But that doesn’t mean you should stay.

Missing something harmful doesn’t make it good for you - it just makes you human.

6. Mindset and attitude are everything.

How you think about this journey will shape how you experience it.

If you focus on how hard it feels, your brain will find evidence to prove it’s hard. But if you focus on what you have to gain - peace, freedom, clarity, energy - you’ll start seeing those things everywhere.

🎧 I dive deeper into this in this podcast episode - listen if you need help reframing your focus or shifting how you see your alcohol-free journey.

Sobriety becomes less about what you’re losing, and more about what you’re finally getting back.

7. The “magic” kicks in later - and it’s worth the wait.

Around day 100, something big shifts. Actually a thousand little shifts all of sudden feel big. You’re lighter, brighter, happier, more steady, and your confidence is growing.

And by six months? You won’t just feel better - you’ll start to be different. Stronger. Calmer. Clearer. More yourself than you’ve been in years.

Give yourself at least that long. No questions asked.

You deserve to get to the good part.

8. Don’t do it alone.

There are tools and communities for every challenge you’ll face - cravings, social situations, emotional ups and downs. You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through this.

The truth is, everything changes when you have the right support. That’s exactly why I created The Blueprint - the program I wish I had when I started.

It combines mindset tools, holistic health strategies, and step-by-step coaching to help you go from struggling to stay sober to thriving alcohol-free.

If you’re ready to stop starting over - and finally feel proud, confident, and in control - join me inside The Blueprint.

Your best-feeling life is waiting, and you don’t need alcohol to get there.

xx -

Shannon